Do you ever read your stars? I do. According my horoscope, I should be having, like, the best month of my life. I think its exact words were "You are about to take your rightful place at the head of the parade." Well, my bank account's down to $24, apparently the new guard at a magazine I've been contributing to for the past seven years has edged me out without so much as a courtesy head's up, and my hair is a hot mess. Surprisingly, I'm most bothered by my shaggy coif and the fact that I have no choice but to break-up with my hairstylist of four years. Regarding the other two items, I won't lose, and have not lost, one wink of sleep over them. I trust they'll work themselves out. I don't exactly feel like I'm at the head of the parade, but hey, at least I'm still marching.

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